i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
