I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize