Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
