a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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