i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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