I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
