Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
