the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish i was in the wii world.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Found the puke drawer
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
