I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
