I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
