The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
