my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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