Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
