doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
