K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
