when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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