You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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