You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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