I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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