considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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