I need help removing her.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
