Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
