Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
