Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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