Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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