So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
