so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
