Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize