From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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