p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
