My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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