She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
