i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize