I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
