Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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