just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
