Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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