You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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