She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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