at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
