well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
