Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize