What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm passing your future prison.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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