Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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