He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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