YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
