I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well you can't waste a boner
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
