oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
