the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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