all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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