they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
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