And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
