Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
