I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
