Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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