These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I checked into jail on foursquare
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
