1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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