Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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