Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
