I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
